Saturday, March 29, 2008

How to Decorate a Funeral Home

In case you don't know this, I am pretty obsessed with funerals. Actually, with the planning of funerals. For this reason, it is okay to allow me to attend a funeral of one of your loved ones, but you should never, ever, ever allow me to have a voice in the preparations. My mother has finally figured this out after my participation in my grandmother's and stepfather's, so I am confident her instructions for her own end will be very, very specific and leave no room for my interpretations.

First of all, I must offer a disclaimer. The funeral home provided a lovely service. They brought dignity and respect to Ramsey's funeral, which I would not have been able to provide if left alone. Mainly because I am obsessed with funeral home decorations and how easy it is to be inappropriate. So, let's start with the yard art.





Just in case you can't tell, the dog is a BOBBLEHEAD. His head was just going with the breeze. And in the spirit of Easter, there was also a second Easter Bunny nearby.



Which begs the questions: What do you do for Halloween? Do you put Santa out front?

And, how exactly, do the copulating frogs fit in?



Nothing, however, prepared me for the interior. Each successive room provided more treasures. As you come in, you are greeted by her:



For some people it is clowns; for me, it is china dolls. And she wasn't alone.



It is really important that you notice the wallpaper, so you would be aware of how it tastefully is carried over into the bathroom.






That's right, folks, each of those flowers were carefully cut out, glued to the wall, and then shown growing out of the handpainted vase.


And, if in your old age you decide to start rolling yards again, consider crashing a funeral or two for supplies.



And, I am always a big fan of decorations that involve glitter and shiny paint.






Angels will be watching over you throughout your visit.





That's all, but I think it is enough.

1 comment:

Adrienne Martini said...

Remind me to not die anywhere near that place.