I am sick of Mississippi

Guess what! I have been to Mississippi AGAIN. I know for a fact that I have now spent more time in MS in the past year than I have spent in the past ten years combined. We managed to leave St. Louis, for the most part in one piece, way past the desired time, but surrounded by those we had come to love. We arrived back in Knoxville and we were immediately surrounded by people we love at this end. We began to unload the rental truck, the storage unit, etc. Of course, the air conditioner was broken and couldn't be fixed for a week. Got up the next morning for the "real" movers to bring the stuff in. They showed up, and about an hour and a half later, as I am watching my dining chairs leave the truck, I get a phone call telling me my mother is having a stroke and is in the emergency room. So, because I simply can't leave at that moment, and I don't think I will be of any use, I decide to wait until the next day to go.

Next morning when I get up to leave, the engine light comes on. I end up having to rent a car. For some reason, the drive from here, even though it is only an hour longer, seems to take days and days. I arrive just as dusk is setting in, and when you drive through the delta at that time, the bugs sound just like rain on your windshield. Bought a mega-pack of bologna to feed some starving dog with the hope that it will send me some good karma. Dog was happier, but it didn't work.

My mother has had a stroke that resulted in her being paralyzed on her right side. This is horrifying, BUT it is amazing how something like this can knock your perspective around so you can find the good in stuff you would never consider. Here is the good. She can talk. She even makes sense when she talks. Some movement is coming back in her right leg. At the beginning of the week when she couldn't understand everything so well, we spent A LOT of time watching What Not to Wear (I think I need to nominate myself), but by the time I left yesterday, she could follow Law & Order. She is now in a rehab facility, where she will only be able to stay for two weeks in a best case scenario. At that point, I will have to go back to MS, move her out of her apartment, move her here to Knoxville, and well, just see. When I got home last night, husband had tons of questions that started with, "What is going to happen...." and I just stared blankly at him. People are always told they should not worry about tomorrow and just enjoy the moment, and that is what I have learned to do. I will make future plans, but I really can't do it until I know how rehab works. And, thanks to the great state of MS's insurance plans, I have absolutely no idea what will happen afterwards in terms of what they will pay. I am completely flying blind. There are these popular t-shirts in Greenville that say, "Put on Your Big Girl Panties and Stop Whining." So, I have tried to do that, because if I let the tiniest emotion out be it anger, frustration, or tears, I am pretty sure I will have a breakdown in my peach has a bruise on it. For example, yesterday when I was leaving, I realized that my mother doesn't have anyone to do her laundry for her until I come back, so what will happen if she needs a new t-shirt? I hate being an only child - always have, but I really hate it now. However, I am kind of enjoying the power thing - I actually know my mother will keep her promise to quit smoking since unless she learns to teleport, she will not be able to buy any, and since I have the checkbook......power is good.

I am sure that something funny will happen soon, but I have to wait for my children to do something stupid.