Snakes and Quakes

So, you would think the sane person would READ about the snake before ingesting its venom. But, remember, I think Herbert Hoover is fantasy material (people, have you LOOKED AT HIM? Looks wise, he is only above Lincoln and Rutherford Hayes, and plumper than both.), so clearly I am not the sharpest stick around. So, after two days of venom, I called the doctor to basically beg for antibiotics because I was in pain equal to what a woman feels right before delivery and she hasn't take a drug. I know this feeling, and I wasn't seeing a "reward" looming on the other side of the fog of pain. The nurse calmly says, "Oh, the venom will intensify all the bad stuff, but it should start kicking in around noon today." Guess what? Approximately 3 hours later, the ball of agony that was the left side of my face dissipated. I was exhausted and promptly took a 3 hour nap, but today I felt good enough to wash dishes. Hubby Dear gave me the biggest smile. He has been positively a saint, which I don't deserve. If you are sick and I didn't give birth to you, then the nursing you will get from me is of the medieval type. Probably better not to receive it since it might make you worse. If you can issue an order like, "I need a barf bucket, a bottle of flat coke and an aspirin," then your needs can be met. If you said, "Rub my back, it might make me feel better," I would ask you what time you wanted your massage scheduled. On the other hand, when I am sick, I expect no care or sympathy from anyone, and if you offer it, I will think you have a hidden agenda.

Anyway, back to my snake venom. So, in a particularly hallucinatory state, I googled the South American bushmaster snake. Here is what I learned. If it bites you, you die. Clearly, I am not dead, but I wonder HOW IN THE WORLD someone figured out that this particularly nasty snake was good for sinus infections on the LEFT side (if it is on the right, I think you get tree bark). And who did they test it on? Did the single aboriginal Bolivian who survived say, "Ah! Remember that pain in my left eye/side of the face? Well, when I regained consciousness and a heartbeat, I wasn't stuffy anymore! I knew my sinus cavities would be better when it felt like someone was driving a stake between my shoulder blades." I am pretty sure that it involved animal testing, but better a rat than me. A woman I know here said, "Oh, you could hand that medicine to a chemist and she couldn't find the venom it is so diluted." So, have I just been faith healed because some perky nurse convinced me that I would be at High Noon? Homeopathy is weird but it seems to have worked (if the 15 hours a sleep a day weren't really the solution), but next time, I want the mold growth known as Penicillin. For the time being, I will just comfort myself that I survived and I didn't do anything to aid the overdiagnosis of antibiotics. I am still loopy. I showed up for a birthday party a week early, can't follow a sitcom plot line, and had to sit on the floor to fold clothes. But, I *think* I am on the way back after 3 weeks of feeling like poo on a biscuit. No, I have no idea what that saying means, but it does evoke how I felt.

Oh, we had an earthquake! Or rather, Southern Illinois had an earthquake, but we got to feel it. This is actually the 3rd earthquake I felt - one in NY, one in TN, and this one, which was definitely the biggest. I woke up and everything was shaking. Darling Hubby jumped out of bed, turned around in circles a few times (literally) and then held on the bed. If felt like it went on forever. The dog had been barking to warn us, but we ignored him. Robbers, take note. Pete only growls at people in uniform, so dress casual. According to a naturalist at the zoo, all the birds were sitting on the ground right before it happened, and the zoo's animals all made distress sounds after the quake ended. Wish I had heard that! I, in my venom/snot/fever state, asked, "Is Boo having a seizure? He is lying on my feet?" Hubby said, "He is on your pillow, Stephanie." You would THINK I would notice someone breathing up my nose from three inches away, but apparently not. I think my 4-year-old can shake a house. It was very, very, very, cool. But clearly with our responses, we would have died in San Francisco.

Oh! I am too lazy to go and find pictuers of the MS River in Greenville right now, but if you google it, and find one, just imagine the river is twice the size it should be. But the levees are holding (I think...)